This is a happy story about an adorably whimsical little boy named Jimmy and his cute little puppy named Mister Wigglenton. Only text couldn't do this heartwarming story justice, so we hired the best artists ever to painstakingly create the illustrations for it. It took five years and cost seven brave men their lives, but I think it was worth it. I threw them in The Pit just to hear them scream. They never go away, you cannot wash the blood off. I can see them in the walls. They keep shouting and shouting and the wallpaper is bleeding and they never stop thumping around they're dead dead people can't move around they never leave me alone THE SCREAMING NEVER STOPS THE SCREAMING NEVER STOPS WHY GOD WH
Meet Jimmy and Mister Wigglenton. Jimmy is ten years old. He likes baseball. Baseball is fun because you throw a ball around. Jimmy has a puppy and the puppy is called Mister Wigglenton. Mister Wigglenton has leprosy. Jimmy thinks leprosy is a funny word. Jimmy named his puppy Mister Wigglenton because he wiggles around a lot. Jimmy's dad calls wiggling "seizures" and "oh god that dog is puking blood everywhere". Jimmy thinks seizure is a funny word.
"You got mail", says the adorable puppy. "Mail? Is it a present?" asks little Jimmy, "Present from whom, Wigglenton?" "Why, it's a present most gruesome, Jimmy. A present from the void, Jimmy." Leprosy spreads easily. Now Jimmy has leprosy. Jimmy thinks leprosy is a funny word.
In a few days, Jimmy's flesh started rotting. Oh, how frail indeed is this vessel we call a human body. Jimmy's right arm started itching, so he scratched it. Jimmy's hand fell off. There was nothing but itchy numbness and the warmth of fresh blood. "Uh oh", Exclaimed Jimmy, "I can't let my parents see this! Surely they'll go to the vet and put Mister Wigglenton to sleep!" Jimmy loved his puppy very much. Mister Wigglenton licked all the blood off the floor. "That's good, Wiggles! Help me clean!" But Mister Wigglenton had no other thought in his small puppy head than The Hunger. He had a thirst that could not be quenched, a hunger that could not be satiated. He would kill just for the sake of killing. It helped the hunger go away, but only for a little while.
A few weeks passed. No one noticed Jimmy's condition. Jimmy thought it was becasue he was hiding it so well, but most likely it was because his father spent all his time at work, indulging in carnal pleasures with his big breasted secretary, and his mother was an abusive alcoholic. But still, some problems occasionally arose. "What's that horrible stench, Jimmy? It smells like something is rotting in here!" shouted Jimmy's mother. "Nothing, mother!" exclaimed Jimmy, while hastily trying to hide his decaying flesh under his bed. Mister Wigglenton was having one of his wacky seizures: "Must serve the void. The void is me. Must serve the void. The void is me." Jimmy thought "The Void" was a funny word. Jimmy's pulsating brain was partly visible because his bones started softening and a part of his skull had fallen off.
Two months passed. "No, Daddy, you can't take Mister Wigglenton away!" poor Jimmy cried. "For Christ's sake son, he is only a degrading lump of biomass! He has been dead for two weeks now!" "But I saw him move just now!" "Honey, that's just the Corpse Fly Larvae." Jimmy died shortly thereafter from a broken and rotten heart.
This picture is a blatant lie, since all animals go straight to hell and will never know the face of god.